Care to comment or critique part 1 of Rosalind and Tristan (re-worked)?

Very nice flow. Two points to consider: 'sapphire' clips. Seemed odd to describe the hair clips unless you have some other meaning to them in the next poem. To me it seemed like filler to get your beats correct for the line. Lord Leith You use his name twice in close proximity. Will enjoy reading the next installment.